Bizarre Foods - Part I - Peking Night Market

The Donghuamen Night Market here in Beijing boasts some of the strangest foods in China or in the world for that matter (ok, now i totally sound like Andrew Zimmern). Basically, its 30 or so street stalls all lined up with each selling different foods.How it works is Chinese and Western tourists run the gauntlet of haranguing and shouting proprietors pushing their sheep's penis,snake of a stick, and fried ice cream (it's not all gross). Available eats include: chinese pizza (basically mu shu vegtable), various dumpling and noodle dishes, and fish or meat ball dishes and then we get into the best part of the market....what the f*ck is that on a stick section. The WTF is that on a stick section includes but is notlimited to: chicken, lamb, beef, squid, various testicles, star fish(poor star fish), sea urchin, big scorpion, small scorpion, cricket wood grubs, chicken hearts, shark, and fruit on a stick (see you'd eat fruit on a stick right?). Oh, and let's not forget the coup de gras...stinky tofu on a stick. So, first off, of all the foul smelling things on a stick, stinky tofu was by far the most offensive to one's olfactory sense. So, of course I ate it. Basically, it's firm tofu that has been aged (or left to rot) until it looks just like blue cheese. Then they fry it in a wok with oil and put some star anise plum sauce on it. I have to say, it smells like a combination of death and foot fungus before it's cooked but actually tastes really good and isn't so stinky when you eat it (btw, it doesn't give you gross burps which I was pretty worried about and it basically tastes like fried tofu with some english to the after taste).Also, just so I didn't feel like a total candy pants I ate somewood grubs on a stick. So, these are also fried and basted with dried chili. The wood grubs tasted like taking a dried leaf, filling it with instant mashed potatoes, deep frying it so the outside was crispy but the inside was gooey. Pretty good. I ate em all too. I was about to move on to tiny scorpion on a stick when I started feeling dizzy.Maybe it was the heat or more probably the throngs of people, the shouting, the stinky smell-a-thon of smells, oh, and the whole I just ate freakin wood grubs thing. In case you were wondering,no, I didn't get sick. Next time, I'll go for the scorpion. I'm cool with eating bugs but eating the parts of an animal where your bathing suit should cover is probably my Rubicon. It's the riverthis Caesar doesn't cross. Ps, they have food for muslims (thumbs up sheep eaters!)