Driving in China is a bloodsport. Like gladiators or go fish (I will kick your ass at go fish). After waiting in the longest taxi line ever at 1 am in Beijing Airport I climb into a cab. My driver, who I will call Squawking Charlie was a formula one driver in a four cylinder Hyundai. Serioulsy, I clocked him at 160 km/hour. I don't actually know how fast that is in mph but I think its pretty damn fast.
Squawking Charlie loved to shout into his radio at the other taxis. I guess he was telling them they were candy pants not racing him through the midnight streets of Peking. He loved to yell. When he almost hit someone in a turn and then actually SPED UP to get out of it he uttered the only English words I would ever hear him say that night, "Go, Go, Go!" I actually thought they might be the last words I would ever hear. But no, I did that there are no such things a lanes on Chinese roads. They are just lines that everyone ignores. I've yet to see any bloody accidents. Maybe totally ignoring the rules of driving makes everyone pay attention???? Probably wishful thinking when you're scared out of your shorts in the back of a speeding death cab.
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fuck you. you will never kick ass at go fish. that is it. baker out. i am also the cow champion. i can't believe you made me read this. i hope you like reading my dubai blog. blogadouche.
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